Life changing
She first began to turn her life round when she was given support by a Community Psychiatric Nurse who taught her different coping strategies.
She also joined Safe House, a drop-in centre for vulnerable young people in Southampton.
"Since being in Southampton I've not had to hide what I'm feeling; I can just be myself."
Gary and Tor "When you've had to hide everything, you kind of don't learn everything and grow up as you should."
"You kind of have to re-start that over again. It's kind of what it felt like coming down to Southampton - just restarting being a teenager and going through it all again."
After nine years of self-harming and now aged 24, Tor has found a career she loves and hopes she can move forward with her life.
She was offered the chance to learn to sail and the experience had a dramatic effect on her. She now hopes to pursue sailing professionally.
"I think sailing has really helped. Just thinking about it or doing it has been a great distraction technique for me and has taken my mind off self-harming altogether."
"It's been tough but it's been worth it because now I've found something I really want to do."
"If it wasn't for sailing I might be back where I was."
Tors' story featured in the BBC Three documentary Born Survivors: Cut Up Kids which was broadcast at 10.30pm on Tuesday, 18 December 2007.
Self-harm can be a way of dealing with very strong emotions. One way, Rob Joy, who tells his story on this website descibes self harm is that ".....it gives the relief that crying may provide for other people."
People who self-harm are often labelled as 'attention seeking'. However, it is important not to belittle the actions of the self harmer. A person who self-harms is actually communicating something, so it is important to try to listen to what they are communicating without the filter of "its just attention seeking" they are experiencing distress and self-harm as in Rob and Tors stories can be a hidden problem that goes on for years.
It may start as a spur-of-the-moment outlet for anger and frustration (such as punching a wall) and then develop into a major way of coping with stress that, because it remains hidden, generates more stress.
The severity of self-harm doesn't depend on the severity of a persons underlying problems. Usually, as time passes, the person who is self-harming becomes more accustomed to the pain they inflict on themselves and so may harm themselves more severely to get the same level of relief.
This spiral can lead to permanent injury and serious infections.